DOMESTIC INFIDELITY, Part 4: WHY ARE THEY CHEATING?

There are many reasons why people cheat. Even after you seem to have given them everything they’ve needed, you’re left asking, “Why me? Why did this happen to me?” Each situation is unique, and the reasons people cheat are far-reaching. With all my experience investigating these types of cases, I’ve encountered some basic human tendencies that often lead to cheating.

Women for instance, may become middle-aged and don’t get the compliments or the proper attention they’re use to. There is a breakdown in communication. They’re tired of being a mother all the time. They want to feel pretty. Sometimes, it’s something emotional or physiological that changed within them, and the company of another man is what they need to make themselves feel better.

It’s often about self-preservation. A woman may feel she’s been changing diapers, raising children, paying bills and keeping the house clean for so many years, it’s time to begin thinking about herself for a change. Women’s priorities typically change after they turn 40. As a young adult, they are more concerned with the needs of others. Their maternal instincts are in high gear. Then something happens. They shift their focus to themselves and their own lives. They tell themselves “I’ve done so much for others, now It’s all about me.”

There is a saying about married life:

In the beginning, the men go out and the women stay home. Later in life, the men come home and the women go out.

Early in life, men are more ego-driven. and believe the conquest of having other women is needed to boost their self-esteem. Later in life, they may seek a younger woman to help them feel like they still got it. Men like to have their cake and eat it too. They have a sense of entitlement. They figure if they’re the one making the money and supporting the family, they deserve to go out and have fun too. Men can also feel unappreciated, and it becomes a matter of self-preservation. Men want to feel they are attractive and appreciated just as much as women do.

Bottom line; you need to pay attention to what’s going on in your relationship. To discover why someone is cheating or to proactively take steps to prevent them from cheating, you need to ask yourself some simple questions:

  • Are you noticing any behaviors that are out of the ordinary?
  • Is there a loss of communication?
  • Are you both doing the things that keep the relationship fresh?
  • You fell in love with each other for a reason. Is that spark still there? If not, what can you do to make it happen?

More often than not, there is a fundamental lack of love, respect or quality dialogue between you and your partner. If it is really meant to be, your relationship would be based on love, mutual respect and communication. If any of these three are missing, the chance of one of you cheating increases immensely.

Posted in Domestic Infidelity and tagged , , , , , .

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *