In our exploration of the truth, we look at all the warning signs, but we need to be careful not to over-reactive or be over-judgmental to what might be a false positive. A false positive is when you see warning signs that your spouse is cheating, but in reality they’re not.
You need to be objective, even if it means your spouse came home smelling like cologne or has lipstick on their collar.
There is a possibility your spouse hugged a coworker wishing them happy birthday or the lipstick came from hugging a grandmother who was wearing too much lipstick. They may actually be telling the truth. You need to be careful before you accuse them of infidelity. You need to wait until there is a preponderance of evidence proving otherwise.
Even some of the warning signs like working late, buying new clothes or getting in shape should not be taken as proof of infidelity. There might be legitimate reasons for your spouse to be acting in a certain manner. You need to weigh all the facts and perhaps seek the services of a private investigator before you formally accuse them.
In fact, your best action may be to do nothing at all. Don’t let them know you even suspect anything. Stay quiet, observant and let the evidence present itself. If they are cheating, you will find out eventually. If they’re not, you’ve done nothing to break their trust as you would have if you falsely accused them.
With the advent of Facebook and social media comes the aspect of what some consider emotional cheating. Emotional cheating is when your spouse is chatting online with old flames, old high school chums or people from their past. They might be venting about how they feel trapped in their marriage for instance. A lot of women and men consider emotional cheating to be almost as bad as infidelity, while others consider the airing of personal problems and private secrets as just severe water cooler talk.
Having said that, there is software you can use that will help you discover what is going on when your spouse is online.
If you have evidence that your spouse is simply venting to someone, the best course of action might be to have a conversation with them. Talk about ways of improving your relationship before things get worse and any actual cheating occurs. If you find there is something inappropriate going on, you now have the evidence that proves there is cheating going on.
Do your homework. Have a clear frame of mind before you make accusations you may regret later. If you wrongly accuse them, you risk breaking their trust and might even cause them to cheat, because they feel you think they’re guilty anyway, so what do they have to lose?
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