Discreet-Devices-DOMESTIC-INFIDELITY---WHAT-TO-DO-IF-THEY-CHEAT?

DOMESTIC INFIDELITY, Part 6: WHAT TO DO IF THEY CHEAT

If an investigation reveals that your spouse or loved one is indeed cheating, here are some possible steps you need to take:

  • Tell your story to a trusted family member or religious person. This is a good opportunity to vent and let off some steam. When you sit down one-on-one with a person you can trust, they can offer some emotional feedback that will help you in your time of need.
  • Get legal representation. It’s crucial for you to know your legal rights, and they can assist should you move forward with divorce proceedings.
  • If your ultimate goal is to heal your marriage, you have the evidence to confront them. In order for any marriage to work there needs to be trust. If you don’t confront them and make them come clean, it will be unlikely you will ever really trust them again.  Be judicious and diplomatic in your approach. State the facts and your intention to resolve matters. But, remember you cannot control someone else’s thoughts, emotions or intentions. It will be up to both of you to decide if reconciliation is worth pursuing. Many couples seek counseling or the advice of a religious figure in this matter.
  • Be very careful not to vent to friends that you don’t fully trust, because it might leak out to your spouse or to the general community. You don’t want to air out your dirty laundry and have it haunt you later. This is a very private thing going on your life right now, and if you do have the evidence that your spouse is cheating, it may be best to keep it to yourself for now.

In the past 25 years or more, I’ve seen people work it out, while others go down the road to divorce. This is going to be a decision you’re going to have to make. It’s a tough decision, so take as much time as you need. This is the final segment in our series on domestic infidelity, and this segment is dedicated to you. I hope all is well in your marriage and you really don’t need my services. If I can be of assistance, please don’t hesitate to call. The consultation is always free.

Discreet Devices DOMESTIC INFIDELITY - HIRING A PRIVATE EYE

DOMESTIC INFIDELITY, Part 5: HIRING A PRIVATE EYE

Consulting a private investigator is not an easy thing to do for most people. You can expect to be nervous. After all, you may be revealing some of the most intimate secrets about your married life. Rest assured, the consultation is done in the privacy of my office, and everything discussed is in complete confidentiality.

As a state-licensed professional investigator, it is my job to discover every aspect of the case in a piece-by-piece, step-by-step process to discover the truth. If there appears to be clear evidence that your spouse or loved one is cheating, we will provide the hard evidence you need to prove that your spouse is a louse.

Discreet-Devices-DOMESTIC-INFIDELITY---WHY-ARE-THEY-CHEATING?

DOMESTIC INFIDELITY, Part 4: WHY ARE THEY CHEATING?

There are many reasons why people cheat. Even after you seem to have given them everything they’ve needed, you’re left asking, “Why me? Why did this happen to me?” Each situation is unique, and the reasons people cheat are far-reaching. With all my experience investigating these types of cases, I’ve encountered some basic human tendencies that often lead to cheating.

Women for instance, may become middle-aged and don’t get the compliments or the proper attention they’re use to. There is a breakdown in communication. They’re tired of being a mother all the time. They want to feel pretty. Sometimes, it’s something emotional or physiological that changed within them, and the company of another man is what they need to make themselves feel better.

It’s often about self-preservation. A woman may feel she’s been changing diapers, raising children, paying bills and keeping the house clean for so many years, it’s time to begin thinking about herself for a change. Women’s priorities typically change after they turn 40. As a young adult, they are more concerned with the needs of others. Their maternal instincts are in high gear. Then something happens. They shift their focus to themselves and their own lives. They tell themselves “I’ve done so much for others, now It’s all about me.”

There is a saying about married life:

In the beginning, the men go out and the women stay home. Later in life, the men come home and the women go out.

Early in life, men are more ego-driven. and believe the conquest of having other women is needed to boost their self-esteem. Later in life, they may seek a younger woman to help them feel like they still got it. Men like to have their cake and eat it too. They have a sense of entitlement. They figure if they’re the one making the money and supporting the family, they deserve to go out and have fun too. Men can also feel unappreciated, and it becomes a matter of self-preservation. Men want to feel they are attractive and appreciated just as much as women do.

Bottom line; you need to pay attention to what’s going on in your relationship. To discover why someone is cheating or to proactively take steps to prevent them from cheating, you need to ask yourself some simple questions:

  • Are you noticing any behaviors that are out of the ordinary?
  • Is there a loss of communication?
  • Are you both doing the things that keep the relationship fresh?
  • You fell in love with each other for a reason. Is that spark still there? If not, what can you do to make it happen?

More often than not, there is a fundamental lack of love, respect or quality dialogue between you and your partner. If it is really meant to be, your relationship would be based on love, mutual respect and communication. If any of these three are missing, the chance of one of you cheating increases immensely.

Discreet-Devices-DOMESTIC-INFIDELITY---FALSE-POSITIVES

DOMESTIC INFIDELITY, Part 3: FALSE POSITIVES

In our exploration of the truth, we look at all the warning signs, but we need to be careful not to over-reactive or be over-judgmental to what might be a false positive. A false positive is when you see warning signs that your spouse is cheating, but in reality they’re not.

You need to be objective, even if it means your spouse came home smelling like cologne or has lipstick on their collar.

There is a possibility your spouse hugged a coworker wishing them happy birthday or the lipstick came from hugging a grandmother who was wearing too much lipstick. They may actually be telling the truth. You need to be careful before you accuse them of infidelity. You need to wait until there is a preponderance of evidence proving otherwise.

Even some of the warning signs like working late, buying new clothes or getting in shape should not be taken as proof of infidelity. There might be legitimate reasons for your spouse to be acting in a certain manner. You need to weigh all the facts and perhaps seek the services of a private investigator before you formally accuse them.

In fact, your best action may be to do nothing at all. Don’t let them know you even suspect anything. Stay quiet, observant and let the evidence present itself. If they are cheating, you will find out eventually. If they’re not, you’ve done nothing to break their trust as you would have if you falsely accused them.

With the advent of Facebook and social media comes the aspect of what some consider emotional cheating. Emotional cheating is when your spouse is chatting online with old flames, old high school chums or people from their past. They might be venting about how they feel trapped in their marriage for instance. A lot of women and men consider emotional cheating to be almost as bad as infidelity, while others consider the airing of personal problems and private secrets as just severe water cooler talk.

Having said that, there is software you can use that will help you discover what is going on when your spouse is online.

If you have evidence that your spouse is simply venting to someone, the best course of action might be to have a conversation with them. Talk about ways of improving your relationship before things get worse and any actual cheating occurs. If you find there is something inappropriate going on, you now have the evidence that proves there is cheating going on.

Do your homework. Have a clear frame of mind before you make accusations you may regret later. If you wrongly accuse them, you risk breaking their trust and might even cause them to cheat, because they feel you think they’re guilty anyway, so what do they have to lose?

Buy Spy Gear Online:
http://www.spysource.net
For our complete inventory of B/W and color low-light pinhole cameras, digital security CCTV cameras, network IP cameras, CCTV security cameras, LED cameras and infrared night-vision cameras, underwater cameras, body-worn covert video cameras and more. If you are in the market for surveillance equipment, Total Security specializes in a wide range of video surveillance cameras and spy equipment systems. We are experienced, trusted leaders in covert hidden camera systems, nanny cameras, security video equipment, wireless spy cameras and digital motion activated cameras.
Detective Agency:
http://www.specialsol.com
Special Solutions is one Chicago’s most accredited and premiere investigative agencies. Whether it’s domestic, corporate or undercover investigations, we’ve done it all. When you engage special solutions, you engage top, seasoned professionals.

Discreet-Devices-DOMESTIC-INFIDELITY---WARNING-SIGNS

DOMESTIC INFIDELITY, Part 2: THE WARNING SIGNS

For years men and women have utilized my services to find out if their spouse is cheating. They need clarity and resolution, which is why they choose to hire the services of a licensed private investigator. It is my job to find out the validity of their suspicions and uncover the truth in this very trying time in their lives.

There are a few states that still consider adultery to be a civil action against a contractual agreement of marriage. Others are considered “no-fault” states and adultery means nothing in a court of law. If you suspect your spouse of cheating, you first need to know your rights.

So, what are the signs that your spouse might be cheating? First, there is a gut feeling. Women tend to have better intuition than men, so this may be more apparent to them. This is a sense that something just isn’t right. You need to be careful to not take any action if this is all you’re going on, however it may be your first warning sign and an indication that you need to begin paying more attention to some of the more literal warning signs.

Signs of domestic infidelity include:

  • Loss of communication, complete meltdown of communication, or you’re not getting along
  • Loss of affection and physical intimacy
  • Unusual sexual habits, arousal or lack of arousal
  • Weight loss and self-preservation
  • New clothes & lingerie you’ve never seen before
  • Late nights or different schedules
  • New friends
  • New habits – drugs or alcohol
  • Differences of opinion, personality or need for change
  • Mysterious changes in financial accounts

If you are noticing any of these signs and your gut tells you something is wrong, you may have reason to suspect your spouse of infidelity. However, be careful not to wrongly judge. In our next segment we will explore what are called FALSE POSITIVES. That’s when the warning signs are there, but the reality of the situation is contrary to your suspicions.

It is always best to consult a private investigator and not take matters into your own hands. If you have suspicions or questions, be sure to contact Special Solutions at 847-803-6922. The consultation is free and there’s no obligation. Your well being is our only concern.

Discreet-Devices-DOMESTIC-INFIDELITY---OVERVIEW

DOMESTIC INFIDELITY, Part 1: OVERVIEW

Domestic infidelity today is widespread throughout America. It is estimated to occur in 62% percent of all marriages that end in divorce. With that being said, why do people cheat? Some reasons include psychological and mental breakdowns, finances, self-preservation, hedonism and a multitude of other reasons we will get into at a later time. Whatever the reasons may be, there are warning signs and action steps you can take to find out if your spouse is a louse.

If you suspect your spouse or lover of cheating, you need to pay attention to the warning signs. These may include sudden changes in appearance and weight loss, odd work hours and late nights, loss of intimacy, changes in sexual activity or changes to finances.

A private investigator needs to be very impartial when it comes to investigating domestic infidelity.  It requires comfort and understanding what people go through during these very difficult times. Hiring a private investigator is not like buying a new bicycle or a vacation trip it Maui. It’s a matter of whether their partner in life has been faithful to them. When consulting a private investigator, make sure they have experience and a track record in infidelity cases. Consultations should always be free, so shop around and find an investigator you feel comfortable discussing your personal matters with.

When you hire a private investigator through Special Solutions (www.specialsol.com), you will receive video graphic evidence and a written there to report on all our findings. In the event our findings are positive, we will guide you through the steps that follow while you decide how to proceed.

This is the first of a 6-part series on Domestic Infidelity. In the coming weeks we will explore in detail:

  • The Warning Signs
  • Understanding False Positives
  • Why Spouses Cheat?
  • Consulting a Private Investigator
  • Options & Actions

If you need any additional information or need to talk immediately with an investigator, call Special Solutions at: 847-803-6299 or visit: www.specialsol.com

John Frycek, a licensed private investigator with Special Solutions, LTD. Special Solutions is one Chicago’s most accredited and premiere investigative agencies. Whether it’s domestic, corporate or undercover investigations, we’ve done it all. When you engage special solutions, you engage top, seasoned professionals.